I’m counting down the days until my oldest daughter turns 14 years old.

I have to say my mind has been reminiscing on how life was just 14 years ago. It seems like such a long time ago, but really it’s not.

I had my daughter when I was only 16 years old. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with her, my life had changed. My husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) said he was so amazed at the transformation I made when I found out I was pregnant. Truly my heart was never the same again.

I think as parents we can all relate to how our heart changes when we become a mom or a dad. You can’t go through this process without having a changed heart if you truly love your child…

That’s the way it is with God and when we truly delight in Him. A heart that is delighted in Him is a heart that is transformed. People will SEE your heart for the Lord and they will SEE that HE is the one who truly matters in your Life.

I wrote before that we don’t obey God to “prove” our love for Him, but instead out of our love for Him we have an obedient heart.

It was out of my love for my daughter that I transformed my life, I wanted to be the mother she deserved. Of course I’m human and I have failed many, many times, but my love for her keeps me moving towards a life where I’m willing to make sacrifices for her (and her little brother and sister) to be the mother that God created me to be.

When our heart is delighted in Him we love Him so much that our life is transformed. Sure we will fail many, many times. But our delight in HIM will keep us moving forward to living a life worthy of the call He has placed on our heart, and in the process we He will give us the desires of our heart….

Lately I had been feeling torn, discouraged, and frustrated. Wondering “What do I do next, God?”

At first I heard Him loudly whispering to my heart, then it got quieter but it was consistent.

I kept saying “no.”

Funny how we vow never to do something, and then shortly we find our self doing it again…I had recently said I was done saying “no” to God.

But as soon as I said “yes” – in spite of my fear, or my “better” judgement, I finally said “yes.”

My heart found peace.

I finally have faith again. My heart is excited to see what God will do in this particular situation.

I have hope.

When I was turning my back on God, my heart was stuck and it was discouraged. Doubt and a feeling of being defeated crept in easily. I often wondered “why” but then was often reminded of my purpose.

We can choose not to obey what the Lord is trying to tell us, but if we go to Him and ask His guidance, then a heart delighted in Him walks obediently in faith to answer the call that God has placed on their life…

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Something my husband said to me the other night began to make a lot of sense.

He said:

What matters is the condition your heart is in when you make your choices.

We were talking about how it really all comes down to choice. The choice to follow Christ or not, the choice to love, the choice to walk in faith, the choice to either delight in Him or our idols.

God gave us free will and sin entered our hearts through the choices we made. But even when Adam and Eve sinned it was the condition of their heart that led them to make their choice to eat from the tree.

I was telling my husband that sometimes even the thought of having to make a choice can trip us up. I have often struggled with the fear that I would make the wrong choice so I made no choice at all…then my husband pointed out to me that not making a choice was my choice. The problem here was that I was choosing fear instead of faith, it was the condition of my heart that caused me not to choose. Even if I were to walk in faith and make the “wrong” choice His grace would cover me, if it wasn’t a sin.

Our choices are defined by what is in our heart. They are defined by what we desire. We put our time, thoughts, and efforts into what our heart says we want.

When we are delighted in Him our heart has chosen Christ and nothing else…

“But to Israel he says: “All day long I have stretched out My hands To a disobedient and contrary people.” Romans 10:21 (NKJV)

All day long God keeps His hands stretched out for us…

All day long He waits for us to open our hearts to Him…

All day long He waits for us to truly delight in Him….

It breaks my heart knowing that He is waiting for me and I continue to turn my back on Him. I choose the pleasures of this world over Him, and there He sits with His hands stretched out waiting for that one moment when I finally realize that He is all I need, and I am never disappointed to find His arms open and ready for me to fall into them….

What an amazing and sweet moment it truly is when I finally delight in Him…

Really the only thing we have to offer God is our self. Our will. God is responsible for the refining, just be you. You will make mistakes, and that’s OK. It will be scary letting yourself be vulnerable like that, but in our vulnerability that is where we find our true delight in Him. That is when we learn to lean on Him because when we are vulnerable we realize our weaknesses and we finally know we can’t do this without Him, ever…

Sometimes I just want to be seen. So often my heart desires acceptance, acknowledgement, and popularity.

Sometimes I just want to be successful. So often my heart desires to see big numbers rather than an individual connection.

Sometimes I live in the future. So often my heart desires for tomorrow’s blessings RIGHT NOW!

Sometimes I just wish I could KNOW all the answers. So often my heart desires the knowledge and wisdom of God, which really isn’t new because that’s whole reason why Eve sinned in the first place.

Sometimes I feel like a failure when things don’t go according to plan. So often my heart desires to have control.

Our hearts can certainly be restless at times. When our hearts are restless it’s a sure sign that we are delighting in something other than God. When this happens we need to refocus and put our eyes back on Him and delight in Him. If we don’t then our hearts will continue to remain restless…and we will be torn between our idols and our delight in HIM.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5

Sometimes we need to sacrifice in order to guard our heart. Guarding our heart is a necessity when it comes to delighting in HIM. You see when our desires mean more to us than HIM then our heart finds a way to lead us in the wrong direction. In order to guard our hearts we need to dig deeper into the word and be willing to make the sacrifices needed to keep our hearts where God wants us to be.

It’s NOT always easy. I can often tell that my heart is not in the right place because I get restless or I’m more concerned about what’s fair to me. A lot of times our focus is not on God and the truth. We focus on everyone else instead. Delighting in Him requires us to guard our hearts and is so much more rewarding than living a life where our eyes are focused somewhere else.

Sometimes I have to say no, or limit something in my life, in order to be sure that my heart remains delighted in Him…

“But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it” 2 Timothy 4:17

You know it’s OK to be broken. It’s OK for you to know your flaws. No need to cover them up, but instead acknowledge them before God. Humility is where our heart needs to be in order for us to lean on God for His strength.

A lot of people will tell you to try and improve where ever you are broken, but I feel they’re advice is a bit flawed. We can’t fix where we are broken, and guess what, we are ALL broken. But we can learn to live in God’s grace which is designed to cover up our brokenness. Then when everyone sees our triumph over our weakness they will then be able to see God’s glory in our life, because it’s not by our own doing that we have triumphed, but through God’s strength instead.

Imagine what life would be like if we could just be honest about our brokenness then when we are healed through God’s grace, people would come to know Him because they know they can be healed too!

It’s truly pride that keeps us at a place where we think we can fix our brokenness. Pride keeps us from HIM, and it keeps the Holy Spirit from fully indwelling within our heart. If you have a hard time with truly coming to grips with your brokenness, please know that you are not alone, that’s why I wrote Desires of My Heart, because I struggle with my own pride every single day. But now you know that’s where I am weak, so when you think I have a humble heart know that it’s not me, but God. It’s all HIM. Everything that is good within me is ALL HIM!

I guess that’s a good reminder for us, especially if we are in a time of healing in our life, it’s not us, but HIM…

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.” 1 Corinthians 1:25

“I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.” Ezekiel 34:16